That's Life
by Valdiviels0
Summary: The new Mayor finds out a lot of historical facts he may wish he had never found out about from one of the vampires. (Based on TRUE events, kind of, from the Dwarf Fortress game I am playing RIGHT now).


That's Life.

The new Mayor of Dedukvutok Deduk Akim, Feb Sazirozsit, was elected on the 8th of Moonstone, of 129, in early winter. He was a tad uneasy about his new position and asked for advice from the other Nobles. After all, the Fortress was growing more powerful and more renown. The last few caravans had been large. And nearby regions were even sending diplomats.

He had only arrived last year and was now in charge of the Fortress! Well, kind of. Anyway, he knew he needed some guidance. Course, his wife was very pleased with the new position and the quarters that came with it. And his daughter, a Miner, was also pleased for him. She felt it just proved what a warm and generous Dwarf he was. No doubt why do many had voted for him.

Also having a Aunt and a Older Sister in the military, plus being related to almost a third of the settlement could have helped a tad.

"We're too busy!" they said at the next business meeting. A business meeting to the Nobles meant a extra meal, stuffed in between when they broke their fast in the morning and the midday snack. So he stood there, tugging on his twin braided beard, as they enjoyed their horse meat biscuits, or female salmon biscuits, or opossum tallow stew chased down with a mug of prickle berry wine, or Longland beer, or sunshine.

The Mayor left the Nobles and went to ask the Baroness for help. He still felt that he needed advice. While he had been elected by the majority of the people he was a Surface Dweller and the complexities of his office frightened him. The Fortress, Manorfigure The Manor of Brilliance has been founded in Spring of 126. It was still young and he did not wish to bring in down in its youth. A hundred year old city which was wiped out at least has the excuse of age. He did not wish to be known as the Mayor who killed off a baby fortress before its time.

"Go ask one of the vampires," suggested the Baroness as she inspected one of the newly made toys being designed for export to Cog ikthag, the mother country. "They have all the time in the world!" she added with a snicker.

So the Mayor took the dragon by the horns and presented himself to Deduk Zuntirkadol, manager of the Fortress, and vampire.

Well, he presented himself to the arrow slits that allowed people to talk to and exchange paperwork with the vampire inside his sealed vampire. At least it was easy to talk to him. the other vampire, the book keeper Athel Isonlitast had no such convinces. He was completely walled up.

"Sir," he said, "I need advice on how to run this city. I am not sure I am fit to handle all...these..."

"These?" said a voice from behind the wall. Two glowing eyes seemed to peek out of the darkness behind the slit. Of course, there was darkness everywhere, as Dwarfs did not welcome light of any kind.

"Before I was elected the last Mayor had to deal with the human diplomat from The Organized Realm," said the Mayor sniffling a tad and shuffling his feet. "You see, The Organized Realm are-"

"Humans," whispered the voice of the undead.

"How did you know?"

"I am over a hundred years old," commented the vampire dryly. "Also, only humans would name a nation or a kingdom with such a dull name."

Oh yes," said the Mayor looking a tad embarrassed. "Well, she was not only a Law-Giver but a vampire."

"So?"

"There seems to be a lot of you running around," pointed out the Mayor. "And I wish to know...well..how to deal with her or others the next time they show up."

The vampire laughed and the Mayor had to wait a very long time before he stopped.

After the vampire was able to calm down he stated, "You make it sound like vampires are unfit for public office."

"Well," said the Mayor, trying not look the other creature in the eyes, "no insult meant. But outside of rare events such as you, and the other-"

"We have names," inserted the vampire with a narrowing of the eyes.

"Yes, yes," said the Mayor, moving a step backwards even though there was no real danger. "Of course," he added, "but vampires in politics? Dwarfs would never...I mean, before this..."

"You know nothing of history," stated the vampire, his voice as cold and as solid as a glacier crumbling a mountain.

Before the Mayor could respond the vampire added, "The FIRST Dwarf Kingdom, known in the human tongue as The Spray Orb, was founded in the first year by King Amost Holybrass. A vampire."

As the Mayor gapped the vampire added softly, "Now that I think about it Dwarfs use silly names too. For example, we came from Cog ikthag. Known in as The Boot of Squeezing to the humans. Founded by Erib Calmaxes."

"He wasn't...?

"No, but there was a Queen in our history who was a Necromancer," remarked the vampire.

"I have never heard of this!"

"I doubt you can even read," pointed out the vampire. "Nor do you need the skill. your job is to make sure you do what you are told. You sign what agreements the Nobles think will profit them and keep the city out of war. You oversee the building of the protective walls, direct the miners in their mines, and chat with the people when they need a comforting ear to complain to."

The Mayor sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "I didn't wish for this job."

The vampire's eyes slowly disappeared as he retreated into his chambers. All the Mayor heard as he headed towards the main stairway, to withdraw from the Nobles' floor, was the vampire's voice. It was very soft but somehow still reached his ears as he started to head up the stairs, to start his job as Mayor of the Fortress.

The words the vampire seemed to say was, "That's life."

The End.


End file.
